The Oracle
by Hailey1986
Summary: A newsletter at Hogwarts for students made by students! Issue one is up!
1. Default Chapter

Coming soon: The Oracle. 

Hogwarts is going to have a weekly newsletter for students made by students! There will be an advice column, poem section, gossip section... 

I need some ideas though for more sections. Draco Malfoy will be running the advice colum, (lol that should be amusing.) The gossip section will be run by Parvati Patil and Lavender brown. I am not sure yet who be running the poem section. 

BTW for the poem section if you want to submit your own poems go ahead. Anyway sumbit your ideas so we can get this Oracle up and running. 


	2. Oracle sections

All right. I have thought of some more sections and so have my reviewers. As the Oracle goes on people may come up with more ideas as sections of course. I have a friend also helping me work on this Oracle. 

So here are the list of sections:   
** Interview section:** Done mostly my Harry Potter and Ron Weasley from Gryffindor, but other students may do interviews and submit them in.   
** Magical creatures section:** Done by Luna Lovegood, from Ravenclaw   
** Gossip Section:** Done by Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, from Gryffindor.   
** Advice Section:** Done by Draco Malfoy, from Slytherin.   
** Poem Section:** Done by Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones from Hufflepuff.   
** News section:** Four students, one from each house. TBA.   
** Editors:** Hermione Granger and Ernie Macmillan, from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. 

Vote for your favourite student from each house. The students with the most votes from each house is the winner for the news section. A good thing to remember is to try and not pick someone who already has a section. They have a lot to do including school work. I am not saying you can't pick some one who has a section, just try and remember how much work they have to do. 

Each newsletter will also have a trivia question from the books. Whoever gets it right gets ten points towards their house. (Which means reviewers you can pick a house and decide which one gets the points.) 


	3. Oracle issue 1

Oracle issue #1

**

Interview section

**

Harry Potter and Ronald Wealsey here. For our first interview section we decided to interview the people who are running the Oracle. 

Harry: So how does it feel to be running the Oracle for our fellow students to read? 

Luna: It feels great, maybe people will start taking some of these creatures seriously. You know many people still don't know much about the crumple-horned snorkack? 

Hermione: That is because they don't exist. 

Luna: You'll see, after you read my article in the next issue about them. 

Ron: Hermione, what about you? How does it feel to be the editor? 

Hermione: Well it's great, but I really wanted to do a homework section... 

Ron: Bore our readers half to death. 

Hermione: It would be useful Ron. Maybe then some people would start handing in more homework. 

Ron: Maybe they just don't feel like doing it. 

Hermione: That wouldn't surprise me, and coming from you it def- 

Ron: I always do my homework! 

Hermione: Yes, but that is because I tell you to do it! If it weren't for me- 

Harry: Ahem. So er Malfoy, how does it feel to be chosen to do something for the Oracle? 

Draco: Well Potter, it would have been better if I could have been picked for something more interesting. Advice column? Come on, can you imagine some of the questions I will be getting asked? 

(Hermione and Ron still arguing in the background) 

Harry: Malfoy, you are lucky to be in it at all. Parvati and Lavender, do you like your section? 

Draco: What is that suppose to mean Potter? Did you beg old Dumbledore not to let me in? 

Lavender: Shut up Malfoy. I think it's awesome! Parvati and I have been working on the first section all week! Hope everybody enjoys. 

Parvati: Yes this column should be interesting. My sister Padma was wondering if she could be part of it though. 

Harry: Well that is up to the heads of houses and Dumbledore. 

(Hermione and Ron are still arguing...) 

Draco: So it is obvious how you got in anyway. 

Harry: Malfoy... shutup! Hannah and Susan, you two are awfully quiet. What about you? 

Hannah: Well not many people submitted in poems. 

Susan: One to be exact. 

Hannah: The poem... well you will see for yourself. 

Draco: What about you Potter? How does it feel to have Dumbledore pick you for something like usual? 

Harry: Professor McGonagall suggested me. 

Draco: Yea but Dumbledore gave the last vote, and anyone in this school could have guessed you would have been picked. It is no surprise at all that you and Weasley over there got picked. 

Ron (Who has finally stopped arguing with Hermione): Well Malfoy, I bet a lot of people in this school almost died of shock when they found you were picked. 

Draco: When you were picked Weasley, were you hoping we were going to be payed? 

Harry: Well I think that raps up the interviews for this week. I had more questions... I think there will be an interview with the staff of the Oracle later in the year. So Harry Potter and Ron Weasley here with our first interview. Hope you enjoyed. 

Ron: Stay tuned for next week, we will be interviewing my twin brothers Fred and George. 

Draco: (Snort.) 

Ernie: Hey! You never asked me. I am honoured to be doing the editing! 

* * *

**

Magical Creatures section

**

Done by Luna Lovegood 

Hello everyone, this is Luna Lovegood. I was picked to the magical creature section. This week I will be talking about the Molar Catipilus. My daddy just put an article in the Quibbler about them. 

The Molar Catipilus is a creature that looks like a cat. It is not as friendly as cats are though. The Molar Catipilus breathes fire whenever an enemy is around. You have to watch out that you don't mistake the Molar Catipilus for a cat, if you approach one it will burn you and then attack. 

Here is how to tell the difference between a cat and a Molar Catilpilus. 

Catipilus's have green outline around their eyes.   
Catipilus's walk backwards, never forwards.   
Catipilus's hop like a grasshopper when they run.   
Catipilus's are very slow, so that it where the fire comes in useful.   
THEY ARE NOT FRIENDLY! 

They are very pretty creatures though. I wouldn't mind having one for myself. They are very smart creatures, they can smell prey for miles and miles away. They eat anything alive. They usually have up to twenty babies in a litter. The babies are know as Molar Kittens. The babies don't breast feed, they can start eating solid food as soon as they are born. 

Luna Lovegood. 

Editors note: They don't exist. -Hermione. 

* * *

**

Gossip

** By Lavender and Parvati. 

Crushes: 

Lavender Brown likes Dean Thomas.   
Ron Weasley likes Hermione Granger (And we think she likes him back.)   
Ginny Weasley likes Harry Potter.   
Pansy Parkinson likes Draco Malfoy.   
Millicent Bulstrode likes Theodore Nott.   
Draco Malfoy likes Hermione Granger. (We think, unless he just likes to stare at her.)   
Seamus Finnigan likes Hannah Abbot. 

Snoggers: 

Harry Potter and Susan Bones.   
Draco Malfoy and Padma Patil (What are you doing Padma? My own sister!)   
Ginny Weasley and Micheal Corner (Didn't they go out already?)   
Two second year Slytherins except we didn't catch their names. They were very embarrassed and ran off somewhere. Aw... that is so cute. The first and second years are adorable! 

Hermione Granger was caught NOT DOING HOMEWORK! She actually missed a homework assignment. What is going on there? Sorry to those who fainted. 

Harry Potter did an exceptional potion. I thought he was in remedial potions? Well the extra lessons must be paying off. Unless Hermione Granger was whispering instructions in his ear like she did with Neville. 

Well that is about it. We are hoping Padma Patil can join us, she is always full of gossip. 

Lavender and Parvati. 

Editors note: I was sick! I will never do it again!-Hermione. 

* * *

**

Advice

**

Done by: Draco Malfoy. 

Yay for me. I get to do the advice section... well here goes. 

**Dear Draco Malfoy.**

There is a cute boy in my year. I have known him way before school started though. I really like him a lot but I don't think he likes me back. I have asked him out but he only said yes once. That was two years for the Yule ball. He won't say anymore though. What should I do?   
**-In love.**

**Pansy Parkinson**

I don't want to date you. I know it is you because Millicent found this letter on your bed.   
**-Draco Malfoy.**

**Malfoy.**

There is this girl I really like. The problem is that she is my best friend and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Any suggestions?   
**-me.**

**WEASLEY!**

You are actually asking my ADVICE! Ha ha that is so funny! Just ask her out already everyone knows you two like each other. Ha you know I am never going to let you hear the end of this!   
**-Draco Malfoy.**

**Malfoy.**

There is a git writing the advice column. Should he be fired?   
**-Concerned reader.**

**Potter.**

I don't want to be writing this either. If people would stop with their stupid questions I wouldn't care so much. BTW Ginny Weasley wrote an interesting one about you, it will be in next weeks.   
**-Draco Malfoy.**

**Malfoy.**

You leave my sister alone. Don't put who that letter was from.   
**-Ron Weasley.**

**Weasley.**

How did you get in here twice? I still can't get over that you asked my advice.   
**Draco Malfoy.**

Hey send in questions that aren't stupid! 

Draco Malfoy. 

* * *

**

Poem Section

**

Done by:Hannah and Susan. 

Well we only got one poem this week, and it wasn't very good... sorry to say that but it is true. 

**My Life.**

I wish my life was better   
Only one person can make it better   
That one person is Draco Malfoy   
Draco Malfoy will you be mine?   
-Pansy Parkinson. 

Submit in those poems everyone! 

Editors note: Draco said no. -Ernie. 

* * *

**

News section.

**

Done by: Hermione Granger. (Real authors TBA) 

Ok, so we still need four people to work on this section. One person from each house. 

So the head girl and boy this year are Cho Chang from Ravenclaw and Sam Delaware from Hufflepuff. Congratulations! 

House points stands at: 

Gryffindor: 52   
Slytherin: 60   
Hufflepuff: 43   
Ravenclaw: 46 

Hogsmeade trip next week. 

Start voting everyone for the four people to be in the news section. 

Editors note: There is also Quidditch tryouts for Hufflepuff next Tuesday.-Ernie Macmillan. 

Trivia Question: Dennis Creevey was in Hogsmeade. He wasn't suppose to be though, why? 


	4. Oracle issue 2

Oracle Issue #2

**Interview Section.**

Done by Harry and Ron. 

Harry Potter and Ron Weasley here with the second edition of the Oracle. This weeks interview will be with Fred and George Weasley and apparently now Lee Jordan. 

Harry Potter: How does it feel to be back at Hogwarts? 

Fred: It's school... what do you think. 

George: I kind of miss it. Not the school work of course, I am meaning Gryffindor parties- 

Fred: Slytherin baiting- 

George: Snape baiting- 

Fred: Detentions. 

Ron: You actually miss detentions? 

George: Yea, hmm where's Filch anyway. 

Lee: Do you suppose Professor McGonagall will let me commentate the upcoming match? 

Harry: Don't you work now? 

Lee: My bosses will let me off, won't you? 

George: I don't know... skiving off work to go to school. I'm disgusted Lee. 

Harry: Is your joke shop successful? 

George: Of course it is- 

Fred: In fact we wanted to say that Hogwarts students get a discount. 

Lee: You have to promise you'll be driving the teachers mad with them though. 

George: Especially Filch. 

Fred: And the Slytherins. 

Ron: So the Slytherins don't get a discount off? 

George: Maybe. Depends. 

Fred: If they are scum like that little *.....* Malfoy then they won't. Editors note: Sorry that was inappropriate. -Hermione. 

Ron: So all of them. 

Harry: I still can't believe that git is writing the advice column. 

Fred: I should be writing the advice column. 

Ron: That would go over well. 

Harry: Better him then Malfoy. 

Ron: Anybody would be better then Malfoy. 

Harry: So have you invented anything new? 

Fred: Yes we have. 

George: It's pumpkin juice, except when the drinker drinks it- 

Fred: Their hair flashes rainbow colours for the day. 

Lee: Guess who they tested it on first too? 

Ron: Could you imagine if we slipped some of that in Snape's drink? 

Fred: Do the teachers read this? 

Ron: Since when do you care? 

George: Well because if you slipped that is Snape's drink I'm pretty sure he'll be able to guess who did it. 

Ron: Ok, and again. Since when do you care? 

George: You underestimate us ickle Ronniekins. 

Ron: Don't. Call. Me. That. 

Fred: What's the matta ickle Ronniekins are we upsetting you? 

Ron: Are there any other products that you have invented. 

Fred: Look at that, he changes the subject. 

George: We have, but we aren't going to reveal them all. You are just going to have to come and see. We have all new items in the front of the store. 

Lee: These ones are really great too. 

Fred: We tested most of them on Lee. 

Harry: Have you made a lot of money since your shop opened? 

George: You would know- 

Fred: We tell you every week. 

Harry: This is an interview. 

Fred: Oh yea... I actually forgot. 

Ron: We have to wrap it up though. 

George: Already? 

Harry: Yes, Hermione and Ernie eventually cut them off. 

Fred: Well ok then. 

Lee: Professor McGonagall, let me know if I can commentate the next Quidditch match. Just for old times sake. I know you miss me. 

George: Attention Hogwarts students, you get a five percent discount, so come to our shop. 

Harry: Stay tuned to next weeks. We haven't figured out who we'll be interviewing next so it will be a surprise. 

-Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. 

* * *

**

Magical creatures section.

** Done by: Luna Lovegood. 

Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

Hello once again I am here to talk about another magical creature. Please don't listen to Hermione Granger she really doesn't know what she is talking about. 

Editors note: No I don't, that is why I am at the top of my year...-Hermione 

The Crumple-Horned Snorkack is a lizard type creature. It has a large horn at the top of its head and it grows to be about a foot and half long. Its eyes are a blood red colour and it doesn't have pupils. (Editors note: That's convenient. -Hermione) The scales on it's back have a crumpled look to it, and they also appear on the horn. The males are grey in colour, and the females are a light blue. They can have up to ten babies. The babies hatch out of eggs and they drink blood of rats until they are eight weeks old. Then they can start looking for their prey on their own. 

The Crumple-Horned Snorkack isn't too dangerous, it only attacks humans if it is in a bad mood which is rare. They have a long tongue to catch their prey and the tongue is strong enough to catch something as a large as a dog. The Snorkack will eat anything that is meat and any plant will poison it. They usually eat twice their body weight. There teeth are very sharp and you wouldn't want to be bitten by one. 

(Authors note: Sorry if there was a different description in the book about them, but I didn't have the book on hand, and so I asked a couple of friends for some ideas and this was the best one. So enjoy!** :)** ) 

* * *

Gossip

Done by Parvati and Padma Patil and Lavender Brown. 

Crushes: 

Draco Malfoy likes Hermione Granger! **How do we know? Well first he didn't deny it and second of all we were all reading the Oracle together before they went out and he blushed when he got to that part! Watch out Ron, you have competition.**   
Ron Weasley likes Hermione Granger. (Wow Hermione, you are picking up.)   
Padma Patil likes Ernie Macmillan.   
Gregory Goyle likes Pansy Parkinson   
Pansy Parkinson likes Draco Malfoy.   
Neville Longbottom likes Luna Lovegood.   
Hannah Abbot likes Harry Potter. 

Snoggers: 

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter.   
Millicent Bulstrode and Theodore Nott.   
Lavender Brown and Dean Thomas   
Terry Boot and Mandy Brocklehurst 

Hmm we could set up a dating service! A lot of the snogger's were people who were in the crush list. Hermione, please don't date Draco Malfoy! That is just filth. 

Padma... we caught you kissing Draco Malfoy, what are you talking about? 

Shut up. He kissed me and I kissed him back, and it was only one you and Lavender just happened to catch us. I didn't like it and neither did he, considering he insulted me right after. Hmph! 

Neville Longbottom is at the top of the year for something... and that is Herbology. We always knew he was good in that class but he actually got at the top of the year. Good job Neville we are very proud of you. 

Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy were talking civilized yesterday, they weren't insulting each other or anything. Then again that could be because Professor McGonagall threatened them but still it is worth the gossip page! 

Percy Weasley is getting married to Penelope Clearwater. (Sorry Ron we asked Hermione what that note was about when you almost fainted.) 

We think Hermione is starting become more rebellious every year. 

-Parvati, Padma Patil and Lavender Brown. 

Readers if you have gossip send it in! 

* * *

**

Advice

**

Done by: Draco Malfoy 

(Letter from Reviewer.) **Dear Draco Malfoy!**

I am a seventeen year girl and guess what!? I have never been kissed! I want to be kissed so badly too! Why haven't I been kissed!? Please, I know I'm not ugly I am told I am hot all the time so what is it? Ok thanks! 

**-Never been kissed**

**Annoying twat**

I think it's because you are a very annoying and ditzy. Also most people who say they aren't ugly because they have been told they are hot are actually ugly...   
**-Draco Malfoy**

**Dear Draco Malfoy.**

There is this boy who is my brothers best friend and I really like him. I have liked him ever since I was a first year. I have dated other boys but I still can't seem to get over him. I thought he would like me better now that I am not all shy around him like I use to be but it still isn't working. What do you think I should do?   
**-In love.**

**In love**

Well Potter has such a fat head that he doesn't see what is in front of him. You know he is always too busy trying to act the hero or something. I think you should just ask him out, or maybe after he reads this he'll get the clue that you like him. If he can't, even though you are a Weasley I'll snog you. I'll make all your problems go away... after all beauty is only a light switch away.   
**Draco Malfoy**

Editors note: Draco you are a pig.-Hermione Granger. 

**Dear Draco Malfoy.**

I still can't this really good looking boy to go out with me. He keeps turning me down but I am absolutely in love him. Please will you just go with me to Hogsmeade. 

-I love you. 

**I don't love you.**

Go away Pansy.   
**-Draco Malfoy.**

**Dear Draco.**

I think I like my best friend... only my best friend is a girl and so am I. I am scared to tell her. Should I just tell her that I am a lesbian and then tell her later that it is her that I love?   
**Weird Feelings.**

**Weird Feelings**

Well assuming that she reads the Oracle if you tell her that you are a lesbian, she'll guess you like her. You should do it anyway and then tell me if she wants to do anything with you so then I can watch, or possibly join in.   
**-Draco Malfoy**

Keep sending in those questions! Make sure they aren't stupid though. 

Editors note: About the above advice, Ferret do you remember when I slapped you in third year? Want me to do it again? Take this column seriously. -Hermione Granger. 

* * *

**

Poem Section

**

Done by: Hannah and Susan. 

**Longing for love**

I'm longing for the happiness,   
I've never truly had.   
I'm striving to forget,   
All the things that make me sad.   
I'm searching for the one,   
Who makes me smile through the rain.   
I'm looking for the guy,  
Who makes me look past all the pain.   
I hope that I will find you soon.   
Don't make me search too long.   
I sometimes think I'll never find you.   
I hope you'll prove me wrong.   
From the moment I find you,   
I know our love will be so true.   
You'll make me feel light as a feather.   
I pray that we will stay together,   
Always, and forever. 

-Anonymous. 

Send in more poems please! 

Hannah and Susan. 

* * *

**

News

**

Done by: Neville Longbottom, Marietta Edgcombe, Justin Finch Fletchy and Pansy Parkinson. 

Congratulations to Ravenclaw for getting the trivia questions right. 

News from Gryffindor: Euan Abercrombie, Ginny Weasley and Donna Philips are the new Gryffindor chasers! Welcome back to Harry Potter who is the Gryffindor seeker once again. Congratulations to the new Gryffindor captain Ron Weasley. 

News from Slytherin: Draco Malfoy is the new Quidditch captain for Slytherin. Yay! My boyfriend is the captain, I always knew he would be one.   
A Quidditch practice is this Saturday. The Slytherins have already booked it Weasley so don't even try.   
The you-know-what club is also being held this Friday night so anyone in it be there. 

News from Hufflepuff: Quidditch Practice this Wednesday night. Also we're holding a party this weekend, for Hannah Abbot's seventeenth birthday. Anyone in our year is invited, it's in the Great Hall. 

New from Ravenclaw: The homework club is going to start meeting on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays from 9:00am to 11:30am anyone interested can come. Quidditch team practice will be held this Thursday at 7:00pm after dinner. 

News for the whole school: There will be a new dueling club starting in a couple of weeks. (Date still to be set.) Hogmeades trip this weekend to anyone third year and above. To the first and second years a new club is opening for you all to meet others in your year it will be held every Wednesday night. 

Trivia question: Who in Harry's care of Magical Creatures class could see threstrals? 

Reviewers: Send in any ideas for interviews, magical creatures section, gossip, advice, poems and news. Also suggestions for other sections are allowed too. 


	5. Sorry!

Hello everyone! I am so sorry I haven't been updating, I hate it when people don't update and now look I am doing the same thing. Right now I have a million projects to do plus exams are coming up so it is hard to update. I will try but I am having trouble thinking of new things for the Oracle. It will get up though so don't be discouraged, I am writing down ideas when I get bored and I am hoping to have it up in the next week or two. If you have any ideas then you can also submit them in. 

Very sorry! You can yell at me if you want. 


End file.
